• Martha Iserman

April Stuffs

Usually, I would share all of the things that I learned, experienced, discovered, or was introduced to in the month, but since reality has been put on hiatus for the foreseeable future, I don't have much to share. I spent the month of April finishing 2 giant watercolor paintings and binge-watching The Sopranos and Community.

Either way, you learn about family

I started the month continuing with my giant bug series by painting my red locust specimen with a two-foot wingspan like the purple grasshopper I finished in March.

It aint much but it's honest work

I decided to take a break from the entomology projects and try my hand at a large scale botanical piece. I thought it might take me a week or so. It ended up consuming most of the month.

Me yesterday

It turned out to be a bit more 'painterly' than I originally intended, but I'm not disappointed with how it turned out. I did go a bit loopy yesterday after deciding it was finished and announced that Chase and I would be celebrating. That meant whipping up homemade guacamole, drinking wine, and watching Zodiac while explaining the REAL story of the serial killer to him while he nodded quietly and played pokemon on his phone.

We all know who the real killer is...

You'd think that immersing yourself with giant pink flowers would be a pleasant way to pass apocalypse time, but you'd be wrong. This painting was kinda tricky for me. Something about the composition and overlapping layers made it challenging. Also, I found myself listening to a lot of podcasts about secret societies and alien conspiracies, which may have influenced me a bit more than I intended.

Did you know it goes all the way to the top!?!

All of that is to say, I didn't experience a lot of 'new media' this past month. It's hard when you're stuck inside painting 10 hours a day while absorbing Illuminati propaganda.

Add gummy worms and the new Fiona Apple album and this was basically my April

I DID discover one important thing though. For some reason, I was browsing Grimm's Fairy Tales while on a break from painting and discovered my absolute favorite story of all time. I'm going to share it with you now.

Once Upon A Time....

...Three friends lived together in harmony in a woodland cottage. They each had tasks to complete every day that allowed them to live in peace and prosperity.

The bird would collect the wood from the forest surrounding their home for the stove....

The mouse would carry water, make the fire, and set the table...

And, of course, the sausage would do the cooking by squirming and slithering through the porridge, getting it all greased-up and salty for eating.

My best drawing

One day, the bird ran into another bird it knew from college who was kind of a dick. He was the kind of bird who brags on their social media about his perfect life and then tries to sell you on an MLM. This bird that Bird only knew from one lit class starts to criticize living with a mouse and a sausage. So Bird comes home with an attitude.

Most birds are jerks

When Mouse asks what's wrong, (because sausages don't have mouths), Bird announced he wouldn't be going into the forest anymore. It was bullshit that he had to fly around and carry wood while Mouse and Sausage stayed inside doing barely anything all day in comparison.

So since Mouse was reasonable (and Sausage was a sausage) he agreed and volunteered to cook and offered to have Bird set the table and start the fire. This left the job of collecting firewood to Sausage.

Seen here being a pretty good guy

So the next day they all set about on their new tasks. Everything seemed to be going well until Sausage didn't come home that night. Bird flew off to find Sausage, and a short distance away found a dog that had Sausage in its mouth and was booking it to Dog Town. When Bird confronted the Dog he claimed (and this is my favorite part of the story) that Sausage had FORGED DOCUMENTATION on him, and therefore would have to forfeit its life. Apparently, anthropomorphized food need their papers on them at all times on threat of execution.

I'm available for design work

Sausage Law is Sausage Law, so Bird went home, kinda sad but determined to hold it together for Mouse. Bird told Mouse, who was upset but decided that making dinner would be what Sausage would have wanted them to do. So Bird left to get wood and Mouse set off to make food. Of course, Mouse then jumped into the porridge as she'd seen her friend do every night, and boiled to death. Bird came home and frantically began searching for her missing housemate, and in the process accidentally scattered the wood everywhere, starting the house on fire. She panicked and flew to the well to fetch water, but the bucket fell in and dragged her with it, and she drowned.

Sweet Dreams Kids

So that's The Mouse, The Bird, and The Sausage and I have no idea what the moral of it was. Birds are dicks?

I shared that story with Chase, and he decided he also wanted to illustrate this timeless tale...

I'd say his interpretation of the Sausage character is needlessly horrifying, but the traditional representations are even worse...

I do appreciate his little hats though

So this blog post does a surprisingly good job of summing up my April. It's been a weird month. Here's to more paintings, masonic ritual sacrifices and undocumented encased meats.

Maybe May will make more sense....

©2019 by Big Red Sharks. Proudly created with Wix.com